The human brain is capable of processing hundreds of billions of instructions every second, putting to shame many supercomputers. But like those supercomputers, the brain is susceptible to viruses and corruption. False memories can be planted — without malicious intent: an older family member recounts an anecdote from our formative years and without any evidence to the contrary, we ‘create’ an image in the mind’s eye to match their perception.

The complexities of the brain, and the ease with which it can be tricked, are the central theme of Total Recall, a testosterone-fuelled remake of the 1990 Paul Verhoeven action adventure inspired by Philip K. Dick’s short story We Can Remember It For You Wholesale.

Punctuated by thrilling action set pieces set to Harry Gregson-Williams’s bombastic score, Len Wiseman’s film barely pauses for breath to worry about characterisation as preposterous twist follows outrageous turn.

Fans of the Arnold Schwarzenegger version will be two steps ahead of the screenwriters, but directorial brio and eye-popping special effects hold our interest when there is nothing on screen to fire our little grey cells.

In the late 21st century, Earth is a radioactive wasteland apart from two outposts on opposite sides of the planet: the prosperous United Federation of Britain ruled by Chancellor Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston) and the polluted, rain-saturated Colony, home to millions of workers and the underground resistance led by Matthias (Bill Nighy).

Factory worker Doug Quaid (Colin Farrell) lives in this hellhole with his wife Lori (Kate Beckinsale) and travels to work in the UFB with best friend Harry (Bokeem Woodbine) via The Fall: a giant elevator running close to the Earth’s core which links the two settlements.

Unfulfilled and frustrated, Doug visits Rekall, a shadowy company which promises to realise clients’ dreams by implanting artificial memories.

In Doug’s case, he wants to be a super spy.

Shortly before the procedure takes hold, Rekall technician McClane (John Cho) discovers that Doug’s memory has been wiped.

In the blink of an eye, the factory worker’s world implodes and he goes on the run with rebel agent Melina (Jessica Biel).

Total Recall is bombastic fun so long as you disengage your brain. Wiseman directs set pieces with aplomb, including a high-speed hovercar chase and a dizzying pursuit through a tower block’s lift shafts.

Farrell energetically flexes his muscles and adopts a permanent look of befuddlement. Beckinsale chews scenery, while Biel attempts to add depth to her two-dimensional heroine.

n David (Xavier Samuel) and Mia (Laura Brent) meet on a tropical island and are instantly smitten in A Few Best Men. They pledge themselves to each other and David returns to rain-lashed London to tell his pals the exciting news. “You are gambling your whole life on a girl you don’t know!” despairs bachelor Tom (Kris Marshall). Clumsy clot Graham (Kevin Bishop) and drama queen Luke (Tim Draxl) voice similar concerns. Unperturbed, David books a flight to Australia and Tom, Graham and Luke join him. David heads straight to the in-laws and ingratiates himself with Mia’s father, Senator Jim Ramm (Jonathan Biggins), and his dutiful wife, Barbara (Olivia Newton-John). Meanwhile, Tom, Graham and Luke make a pit-stop at the den of a drug-dealer (Steve Le Marquand) and accidentally leave with his stash of cocaine. As preparations for the big day gather pace, disaster follows catastrophe and Mia breaks down.

A Few Best Men leaves logic standing at the altar as two-dimensional characters stumble from one toe-curling faux pas to the next, leaving destruction and bruised egos in their wake. Samuel and Brent are sweet yet bland — the perfect on-screen love match — while Marshall and Bishop take it in turns to play the jester, their tomfoolery transforming Newton-John’s uptight matriarch into a fun-loving, drug-fuelled vamp.