'What he did was a bad choice' (From Witney Gazette)

'What he did was a bad choice'

9:39am Friday 12th January 2007 in Witney By Matt Wilkinson

A MOTHER whose son killed himself after suffering sexual abuse as a boy has called on parents to break the taboo of talking to their children about suicide.

Laurence Miles, of Newland Mill, Witney - known as Lori - was found dead beneath a bridge over the A40 when he was just 21 years old.

Although an inquest delivered an open verdict, his mother, Amanda Miles, said she understands her son made a decision to take his life.

Her son only revealed to his parents he had suffered sexual abuse when he was nine years old shortly before he died, but they feared something was wrong for a long time before.

Mrs Miles is a member of suicide charity Papyrus, which supports parents whose children are suffering problems and depression, and urging other mothers and fathers to speak to their siblings at the first sign of trouble.

She said: "Suicide is all a bit of a taboo subject to speak about. I knew he was depressed, and he had told us about what happened when he was young.

"We had no idea what was happening. We couldn't work out why our son wasn't doing as well academically or behaving, and could not understand what was going on."

Amanda Miles

"We never discussed suicide, but now I have nephews who know what Lori did was a bad choice.

"Towards the last few days, he said things, and I thought 'what is he going on about?'.

"He felt he was the lowest of the low. He was walking round with this all in his head, and it was like a cancer that was planted in him."

Lori began to display many problems, such as poor academic patterns and disruptive behaviour, as he was growing up, his mother added.

Shortly before he died, he confessed he had suffered sexual abuse from an adult when he was a young boy.

Although he was known to have a dry sense of humour and was a talented musician, he suffered from depression for many years.

He died in November 2005.

Mrs Miles said: "He didn't have it within him to understand. It all happened when he was a very young child, but he didn't know the feelings he kept inside could be sorted out.

"Once he told us, we grew closer, but he couldn't live with it himself.

"We had no idea what was happening. We couldn't work out why our son wasn't doing as well academically or behaving, and could not understand what was going on.

"No problem is insurmountable, but at times, I felt completely powerless."

Charity Papyrus and the Hopeline was set up ten years ago to help parents when their children are going through problems.

Mrs Miles said: "He chose to end his life. It was his choice, and no one made him do it. And I have no problem talking to family members about that now.

"Young people have got to know problems can be sorted out, however big. Some young people don't realise that.

"As a parent, you may be thinking 'am I over-reacting'? That is why you need someone to go to, and voice your fears, and work out where to go from there."

According to Oxfordshire County Council statistics, there were three suicides in 2005, two male and one female, and 11 in 2004, of which ten were male and one was female.

The figures are based on suicide and open verdicts delivered by a coroner at an inquest.